


Ghost in the Walls

by whittler_of_words



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ghost!Dave, John doesn't care, M/M, dave is dead, he is also a ghost, shenanigans ensue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-23 21:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whittler_of_words/pseuds/whittler_of_words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you've been noticing some weird stuff going on around your house lately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yep i got another one up my sleeve
> 
> will the wonders never cease?  
> (Hint: no they will not, until they do)
> 
> I'll get to the formatting later dearies, don't you fret. It looks shitty right now but i'm running short on time so...(ok done now holy shit that looks so much better)

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you've been noticing some weird stuff going on around your house lately.

It's not a problem, really! You're a big fan of “weird stuff”! You were warned that things like this happened in this house before you and your DAD moved in by the previous tenant, so it'd be kind of rude of you to get fussy over it now. It just gets kind of annoying when your glasses re-locate themselves and you have to stumble around the house, and it's _really fucking creepy_ to wake up with one of your Dad's harlequins sitting inches away from your face when you wake up in the morning. 

Again, it's not a problem at all! If anything it makes it really fun when there's nothing to do and you walk into the kitchen to find the chairs all upside down. Or when when you come home from school and one of the clown dolls is sitting on the counter, waiting for you with lifeless eyes. And that one time when you found every single jester your Dad owned sitting in a circle in your room with that stuffed bunny Rose gave you sitting in the center? Classic. So you can't help but smile when you take out the shopping list Dad left you and find it slightly changed from when you left it on the counter before going to the store. Standing in the isle, you snicker to yourself as you go down the list.

SON. PLEASE GO TO THE STORE TODAY IF YOU HAVE THE TIME. I WON'T BE HOME UNTIL LATE, SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GET DINNER STARTED WITHOUT ME.

FLOUR

  


SUGAR

  


MILK

  


VANILLA EXTRACT

  


PIE TINS (10)

  


MILK

  


a p plej ui ce (100 )

  


dicks (69)

  


vir g in b lood

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GET WHATEVER ELSE YOU FEEL WE NEED. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET THE ~~MILK~~ aj

The writing is faint and shaky, as if the writer was having trouble holding the pen. You hurry through the list, chucking a bottle of apple-juice into the cart before heading home. You can't stop smiling to yourself through the drive, glancing back at the bag in the passenger seat every once in a while. You unlock the door and step inside, taking a deep breath before calling out.

“Honey, I'm home!” You trail into the kitchen, pulling the groceries out of the bag before putting them away, stuffing the bags into a drawer. “They were out of dicks and virgin blood, so it looks like we'll have to order special!” You see a flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye, but you don't turn around, instead smiling to yourself as you pull out the apple juice and pour a couple of glasses, leaving one on the counter as you plop yourself down on the couch. You wait a moment before taking a sip. “Well? Aren't you going to welcome me home?” Another beat of silence. You roll your eyes, heading to your room to get your computer before heading back. You should've known it wouldn't work. What were you expecting? A ghost to just walk out of the wall and say “Sup”? You sit back down on the couch, setting your half-empty glass to the side as you open pesterchum. You frown when no one is online. Isn't Jade usually online by now? You blink when a window pops up, a new chat window opening.

\- ??? [???] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:13 - -

???: are you stupid or what  
EB: I think “or what” is the better option!  
???: nah  
???: youre just stupid  
EB: hey!  
???: welcome home btw

You feel a chill run down your fingers.

EB: what  
???: did I fucking stutter  
???: do I need to go through the whole housewife routine  
???: put on a frilly apron and make you a sandwich  
???: bake you a pie for dessert after the meatloaf  
???: wait nm your dad already does that  
EB: what  
???: ill flutter my eyelashes at you and well make sweet love  
???: and shed a single womanly tear as you leave for work again the next day  
???: because your love isnt enough for me any more  
???: ive been captivated by the ajs gentle embrace  
???: theres no going back to what we had before  
???: theres just one problem  
EB: what  
???: I cant drink apple juice you idjit im a fucking ghost  
EB: what  
???: youre right that was bad  
???: remind me to never say idjit again its not a good look on a strider  
???: except I cant really say anything because once again  
???: im a fucking ghost  
EB: what  
???: ok dude this is getting old can you stop being broken now  
EB: uh  
EB: how exactly do you want me to respond?  
EB: because it's not exactly like I talk to dead people every day  
???: I dont care  
???: type or talk or something I dont give a fuck

You pause a moment. “Uh.”

???: eloquent  
???: really I dont understand how you dont have all the ladies swooning at your feet  
???: please continue  
EB: look this is just really weird!  
EB: I mean the other guy who lived here told me that this place was haunted  
EB: and you've pretty much proved that over the past few months  
EB: but why are you just talking to me now?  
???: excuse you but not all of us have limitless amounts of life energy  
???: being a ghost sucks a bag of dicks  
???: doing this is pretty much like running a marathon you should be grateful  
EB: really? That kinda sucks!  
EB: How do you get life energy or whatever?  
???: usually just being near people  
???: if I have enough I can actually touch/move things and talk and shit  
???: but that can take a while  
???: it works better with actual physical contact  
???: thats how ghosts are made too  
???: carry enough life energy with you as you die because of strong emotion and shit and bam  
???: instant ghost mix  
EB: huh  
???: yep  
EB: can I ask you a question?  
???: shoot  
EB: what's your name?

There's a few moments before he (at least you think it's a he) answers, and you're afraid for a moment that he ran out of life energy to use before his words pop back up on the screen.

???: why do you want to know  
EB: it's just weird calling you “that ghost guy” in my head all the time!  
EB: i'm sure you know my name by now but i'll say it anyway  
EB: hi! I'm john egbert! :B  
???: yeah I know  
???: its dave strider  
EB: hi dave!  
???: sup  
???: speaking of names  
???: does your dad even have one  
EB: of course he does!  
???: what is it then  
???: because I sure as hell dont know

You're about to answer when you realize: you don't know your own dad's name! “Huh.” You've only ever heard other people call him Mr. Egbert, and you never really closely examined his messy handwriting when he signed school documents for you. 

EB: you know what  
EB: I don't know!  
EB: that's really weird actually  
???: youre telling me  
EB: i'll ask him tonight.  
EB: i'm actually really curious now :B  
???: damn straight  
EB: how will I let you know?  
???: ill probably just listen in  
???: I dont think I can do this chat thing again for a little while  
???: that pen really took it out of me  
EB: I was wondering, if you can't drink apple juice then why did you ask for it?  
???: shit I didnt think you were actually gonna get it  
???: I was just messing with you mostly  
???: I shouldve known youd just get it for me  
???: especially after you laughed at the Clown Circle of D E A T H  
EB: yeah, that was pretty cool!  
EB: it totally scared the shit out of me for a second!  
???: why does your dad own so many clown dolls and stuff anyway  
???: theyre all creepy as fuck  
EB: I think he thinks I like them :/  
EB: I don't know how he got that idea to be honest

\- ??? [???] is now an idle chum! –

EB: dave?  
???: shit sorry  
???: I gotta bounce before I Black Out  
???: trust me it wont be pretty if I do  
EB: ok!  
EB: will you still be around though?  
???: yup  
???: I wont be able to say anything back but I can hear you just fine  
EB: ok  
EB: get better soon I guess?  
???: sure thang. Ill be good in a couple days  
EB: see ya :B  
EB: except not really  
EB: bye!

\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering ??? [???] \- -

 

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you just talked to a GHOST named DAVE. Your life is officially awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for taking so long pls forgive me

You dick around on the computer for a few more hours, watching a couple movies and making comments on them hoping that Dave will hear and you're not talking to yourself like an idiot, before finally getting up to make dinner. Dad is usually the one to deal with the cooking, but on nights like this when work keeps him him too long, you opt to reheat leftovers instead of risking setting fire to the house. 

You learned your lesson from the last time.

You're just pulling the lasagna out of the oven when you hear the front door opening, setting out an extra spot on the table as your Dad walks into the kitchen, his jacket draped over his arm.

“How was your day, son?” You both begin to serve yourselves, your Dad giving you a moment to reply before beginning to eat, himself. You tell him your day was pretty boring for a Saturday, feeling a slight prickle of guilt at the lie until you push it back. _It's so believable that you talked to the ghost that's been haunting you for the past few months. Because ghosts are obviously a thing. Ghosts can totally use the internet, it happens all the time and there is no way this is another attempt to try and raise my prankster's gambit. Ha._

Oh right, you almost forgot. You set down your fork on your plate, looking your Dad over for a second. Noticing your gaze, he sets his fork down as well. “Do you need something?”

“This is kinda stupid, but... Actually, it's really stupid when I think about it, but I realized something today.” Dad nods, encouraging you to continue. “Dad, what's your name?” His lip twitches into a smile for a second, and he picks his fork back up and continues cutting the pasta of his lasagna into tiny squares.

“What brought this on?” He asks, his tone amused. You copy his movements, cutting your food to keep your hands busy. “I don't know, I was just thinking today and I thought how weird it was that I don't know your name.” You shrug, turning attention to your task for a moment as you wait for him to respond.

“Samuel.” You grin at him, feeling a small sense of satisfaction as he smiles back. Did you hear that, Dave? You and Dad continue to chat until both of you are full, and you offer to take care of the dishes for him. He ruffles your hair in thanks, ignoring your yelps of protest before shuffling off to bed. You feel a faint buzz in your pocket as your phone alerts you to a message.

I honestly dont know what I expected

You grin, hoping Dave sees as you head off to bed.

///

When you wake up the next morning, Dad has already left for work. You shout out a “Good morning, Dave!” as you pour out your cereal, sitting down at the table. You fish your phone out of your pocket when it buzzes.

Morning hun

“Aren't you supposed to be saving up your energy or something?” You don't bother to respond over text this time.

I guess I just couldnt resist your hot bod   
always got me coming back for more   
you are the fix to my junkie

You curl up your nose. “Why do I feel like that's a euphemism for something?”

because it is   
and also im kind of lonely   
theres not a lot of people to talk to on this plane of existence I guess   
youd think thered be more ghosts around getting their haunt on and shit but so far im the only one ive seen

You type out the next message, thoughtful.

You said it works better with physical contact, right?   
Why you offering   
yeah, I guess   
I mean, it'll make you feel better, right?   
And then we could actually talk! :B   
are you sure bro   
this would be me actually taking some of your life energy   
but aren't you doing that right now?   
…   
good point   
ok stay still this might feel weird

You stiffen up for a moment before you force yourself to relax. You try to fight off the urge to fidget as the seconds tick by before you feel it. It starts off as a tingle on our arm, steadily growing in strength until it feels like your entire body is vibrating. With a sudden lurch it feels like the ground shifts under your feet. You dart to the bathroom when you taste bile at the back of your throat, getting to the toilet just in time to upchuck your entire breakfast. You grimace as you flush and wash your mouth out with the water from the sink. You turn when you feel someone watching you, goosebumps prickling down your spine.

Standing in the doorway is a boy looking about your age, his face mostly obscured by a pair of dark aviators. You can tell through the faint red tint that seems to make him up that his hair is blonde, and if it weren't for the fact that you can see the other side of the hallway through his shirt and jeans, he would look... actually pretty normal. You notice that his forehead is creased slightly in what you can only guess is worry as you stagger to your feet, holding onto the counter for support as the room starts spinning. It's only when your head begins to clear that you notice he's talking.

“Shit, I should've gone slower I forgot that happens it's been so long since the last time I tried that, fuck. Are you okay?”

You grin at him. “It worked!” The crease disappears from his forehead, making him virtually expressionless even as an eyebrow quirks smoothly over his shades.

“I'm sorry to tell you that it did not, in fact, work. I've been lying to you this entire time. Turns out I'm actually a hallucination and you're crazy, congratulations.” You move past him back to the table, stumbling before you sit back down in the chair. You look him over again before it finally hits you. “Holy shit, you're a ghost!” What follows is the most unimpressed look you've ever seen sent your way.

“Really? All this time I thought I could pass through objects because I was just a special snowflake. The fact that I don't seem to age and nobody can usually see me suddenly makes a lot more sense now, too. Thanks for sharing this startling revelation, bro, it really helped me out. It's a plot-twist I never saw coming, Malcolm Crowe ain't got nothing on me.”

You smile sheepishly at him, heat faintly rising in your cheeks. Does this guy always talk like this? “Sorry! It's just, like I said before, I don't talk to ghosts every day.” He grumbles at that, but seems to accept it. “You know what's kind of funny? My old chat name used to be 'ghosty trickster'. I guess I was really into ghosts when I was younger?”

“Talk about ironic. That's some serious reach-around shit right there.” You laugh at that, bringing a hand up to your mouth to cover up your wonky teeth. You try to think of something else to say before this silence stretches out too long; you don't want him to think you don't like him!

“So,” he says, slouched over with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “Do you have something planned or are we just gonna be staring lovingly into each-others eyes for the rest of the day?” 

“Oh!” You jump up, going to the couch and grabbing the remote, waving it at him. “We can always watch some TV?”

“Well, shit, man, let's watch some Discovery Channel.” You grin and sit down, patting the seat next to you. You flip to a nature documentary at Dave's request, and it's surprisingly fun when he makes his sometimes childish comments on the animals, usually having to do with their anatomy. After about twenty minutes of joking with each other, you glance at him to see the same crease you saw on his forehead before is back, and you can guess that he doesn't realize he's making it.

“Hey, are you okay dude?” He looks at you a moment before shrugging, turning back to the TV. “Daaaaave!” You whine, flopping to your side on the couch. “I'm not gonna stop bugging until you tell me!”

“Fine,” he says. “If you really want to know. I've only got a couple of minutes left until I have to go full ghost again.” You sit up.

“Why, didn't you get enough energy from me?” Shrug. So that's a no, then. “Dude, why didn't you tell me? All you have to do is ask.” 

“Seriously, after what just happened you're willing to try again?” It's your turn to shrug this time.

“It wasn't that bad, and now that I know what to expect it'll be easier. And I could tell you didn't mean for that to happen. I trust you.” His expression falls into one of shocked disbelief before it snaps back into a poker face. You think it's kind of funny that he tries so hard to seem cool; from what you've seen so far he's just as dorky as you.

“Whatever, man. I'm not gonna turn down a free meal.” He tries to sound nonchalant, but a hint of something you think is gratefulness slips through. He shuffles closer to you, and when you shift to face him he places his hands on both of your shoulders.

It's a lot like the last time except the build-up is much slower, and he cuts off before the room can go back to spinning again. Dave looks much more solid now, not half as translucent as he was before, and he seems much more relaxed.

“See? Told you it would be fine!” You say, grinning widely. Dave huffs.

“Of course it was. It was me doing everything after all.” You laugh, smacking him in the shoulder, and you barely notice the small shivers that crawl up your arms at the touch. A little while later, after you've watched some more TV, you ask him if he wants something to eat or drink. It's only polite to ask a guest, after all!

Dave answers by keeping his face perfectly flat, then rising slowly several feet in the air.

You smack yourself in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've sort of lost a lot of drive to write this, but pleasebe assured that THIS IS NOT ABANDOND. Think of it as a temporary hiatus? It may be a while until I feel ~*inspired*~ enough to work on this, so it'll be on the backburner while I work on my other writing stuff until i feel like "OH HEY THERE'S ANOTHER THING I HAVE I SHOULD WRITE THAT"

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! Please check out my other stuff if you feel like it. In case you're wondering, this AU is completely mine, except i wouldn't be surprised if a similar concept is out there somewhere? idk the world is a mysterious place.


End file.
